My Mission Was Not the Best Two Years

My Mission Was Not the Best Two Years

I left on my mission February 23rd, 2011 and went to serve in Philadelphia, PA. I'll never forget my very first few days of my mission and especially a specific counsel my Mission President gave us new missionaries. As we we're sitting in a room at the Church building he looked us in the eyes and said, "I don't like the term 'the best two years.'" When he said that I was so confused because that is the exact phrase we hear growing up in the Church. People tell you that all the time growing up, "just wait until you serve a mission, it will be the best two years of your life!" or " a mission is the best two years" Heck, there is even a iconic Mormon movie called "The Best Two Years" which I'm sure most of you, if not all, have seen before.

I took that to heart and since day 1 on my mission I thought about that every single day!  I have been home from my mission for almost 2 years now. Time sure has flown by and a lot has happened since then. And now, I can say that he was right. It wasn't the best 2 years of my life, and that's how it should be. My mission will forever be a treasure and the longer I'm home the more I think about my mission and all that I have learned, felt and experienced. I miss the people of Cape May, NJ, Valley Forge, PA, New Castle, DE, Honesdale, Pa and Allentown, PA. They all have deeply blessed my life and helped make me who I am today.

I urge everyone who has served a mission to not allow it to be the best years of your life, but to be a foundation of what can come from our mission experiences.

My Mission President continued, "A mission isn't and shouldn't be the best two years of your life. It is however, the best two years you could do for your life." I love that! He went on to say, "When you get home you will get married and have more sacred experiences than your mission can offer." He mentioned how much he loved his mission, but being married to his wife and the callings he's had has been the best years of his life.

My mission is a treasure and helped shape me into who I am as a person, husband and father. But, all the things that have happened since being home have built on that foundation and has been far more better than I would've ever imagined!

Since being home I must say I have had some many sacred experiences that makes what my Mission President say all true. I met my sweetheart my first weekend home and boy, did I jump in the fire with this one. She was traveling and speaking almost everyday in our relationship before we were married. I drove all over with her and saw my wife touch the lives of thousands of people all over the country. We have even met Church General Authorities, leaders and Apostles, all of which has impacted my life.

In August 2013 I was married and sealed in the House of Lord, and June of 2014 we welcomed our sweet angelic little girl Gracie Lena. Since being home I have experienced more and seen the blessings of God everyday. Life does get better after a mission and sacred experiences have been deeply richer.

Don't let your mission be the highlight or peak of your spiritual life! There is more to come if you let it. Life moves on everyday, time waits for no one. Don't miss those opportunities to do better and be better and receive and experience more. A mission shouldn't be the best two years of your life, not at all! It is the best two years you could do for your life. With God, great things await us. Continue to press forward. Continue to grow. Continue to learn. Continue to strengthen. To serve. Because truly, these last two years since being home has been more impactful and sacred, filled with blessings and opportunities I would have never received without God and continued effort.

The Way of Carraway

Get over your mistakes

This may very well be the shortest and simplest blog post you’ve ever read (maybe), so here we go on my thoughts:

Don’t dwell on your mistakes. Who cares if you’ve screwed up, hasn’t everybody? I know too many people (I’ve fallen in this category) who dwell on their mistakes. You’re going to make mistakes, get over it! Learn from your mistakes and move on. Don’t continue to sit there and think you’ve failed, you only fail if you quit trying. Don’t think that you’ve missed opportunities to change your life, each second, minute, and hour of each day is an opportunity for you to turn it all around. Don’t fear failure, fear stops a lot of people from reaching their real and God given potential. Choose to be happy and choose to feel good. You don’t need a reason to feel happiness, you can feel it at any time simply because you’re alive, simply because you’re a child of God.

Don’t let your sins bring you down. Don’t be ashamed. Shame is a tool of Satan. We all sin in life and fall short of the glory of God. But, this is why we have a Savior. He died for us, He knows us! God doesn’t want you to sit there and have a pity party because you sinned or screwed up. He wants you to fix it and get over it! Guilt is a good feeling, guilt gets us to change. If you need to change, repent and move on. God has promised that as we repent and change He remembers our sins no more, we should too remember our sins no more. You are going to sin in your lifetime don’t be afraid. God loves to be merciful so follow His Son, fix what needs fixing, and move on from your sins.

Life is a gift. What we do with our life is our thank you card back to God. Life is short, life has many challenges. Don’t let your mistakes and shortcomings add to the pile of life stress. Choose happiness. Choose to feel good. Choose to move on. Choose to be healed. Choose to never fail. Choose God, because He always has your back.

Thanks for reading.

k. Thanks for reading.

The Lord Delivers the Righteous: Psalm 34

The Lord Delivers the Righteous: Psalm 34

Since the resurgence of my quest to find peace amidst the unceasing turmoil created by the evil of ISIS and other radical groups, I have had some astoundingly comforting and sweet time with The Lord. Daily, He has pointed me to promises made in scripture through His written Word. Today was no different.

The study I've been following for the last week or so had me resting in Psalm 34 this afternoon and it could not be more perfect for the current happenings around our globe. This is what I love about the Bible. There is no other book that can say the exact same thing through hundreds of years but speak so intimately and specifically to every person in every phase and season of life. The Bible is never irrelevant, regardless of societal beliefs.

In my particular Bible, each chapter/section of each book is titled. Psalm 34 is titled, "The Lord Delivers the Righteous." In the study notes, I learned that Psalm 34 is given this title because of its relation to David's deliverance from King Achish of Gath. Achish was a Philistine and knew that David had killed many Philistines in his time. David became paranoid that Achish would be after him soon and because David was already fleeing the grips of Saul, it seemed certain that death was gaining ground.

Isn't that true for us today? Doesn't it seem certain that death is gaining ground? That evil is conquering good? Couldn't we use some delivering today?

Friend, God has promised time and again that He delivers those who trust in him. Verse 7 of Psalm 34 says is beautifully, "The Angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him, and rescues them." Yahweh fights for His people (2 Kings 19:35). We need not be afraid, we have the Creator of the world on our side. We have the Giver of hope, the King of kings, and Lord of lords in our circle.

But here is one thing we must remember, deliverance doesn't always come this side of heaven. Suffering happens. Disasters occur. People groups get wiped out. Generations lost. But "the Lord redeems the life of His servants, and all who take refuge in Him will not be punished" (v. 22).

Our hope is not in this world. It is not in this life. We were made for something greater, somewhere greater. This place is not our home. We cannot expect safety on this earth. Our citizenship is in heaven, at the right hand of God. Even when disaster strikes, God is still on His throne. He is unchanged. He is unthwarted. When we truly believe that, we can say faithfully, "I will praise the Lord at all times; His praise will always be on my lips" (v.1).

To My Mom-Friends on Mother's Day

To My Mom-Friends on Mother's Day

Every year on this day for the last 4 years, I and others have celebrated my being a mother. I vividly remember driving back to Fort Worth from a baby shower in Birmingham and being kicked by the sweetest, tiniest little bean growing in my womb. It was the beginning of a very sweet and trying journey.

Today, as I have 3.5 years and two children under my motherhood belt, I feel the need to celebrate Mother's Day a little differently, a little less me-focused. Sure, I still kicked my family out of the house enjoyed some alone time at home, showering and singing Adele. And, yeah, I also enjoyed an amazing pedicure with a glass of champagne. But something about this Mother's Day struck me with a different sense of gratitude.

This year, more than any other, I am thankful for the moms who walk alongside me on this journey of boo-boos and dirty diapers. I am thankful for the current examples I have of loving mothers. It's easy to forget or distort the lessons of childhood. We tend to either glorify or vilify the mother we grew up with and I need examples and ideas now from those walking my current life-stage. At the very least, I need help from the moms one or two steps ahead of me.

My mom taught me a boatload of things, that is for sure, and I glean from the lessons told by veteran moms. But life is a lot different now than it was 28 years ago. We have more education options, more recipes to pin (and never cook), and WAY MORE social media to remind me of how miserably I am failing at this whole #childhoodunplugged movement.

So to my mom friends, thank you. Thank you for fighting with me against Helicopter Mom ideals. Thank you for giving me the universal look for "You got this" when my child is flying off the handle and I'm about to go with them. Thank you for being real and never letting on that we don't share the same insecurities and fears. Thank you for holding a sturdy arm out in front of me and pulling me up when I've been knocked down or for allowing me space to be in a funk.

Today as my love-tank is filled with homemade crafts and massage gift cards (holla), I feel grateful. Grateful for the mom who gave me life, for the children who call me "Mom," and for fellow-moms walking along this path with me. This motherhood thing is H A R D and I'm thankful to go at it with you at my side.

May the mothers who come after us, follow the trail of sisterhood that we are so lovingly blazing for them

The Wiggins' Beginnins

Justice . . .

I am a white female. I am a white female with two white children and a white husband. I will likely never need to worry about my white husband or children dying in a pool of their own blood at the hands of law enforcement.

I am also a white female with a heart for adoption. With this heart for adoption (and Jesus) comes a heart for all human beings, regardless of color, gender, sexual orientation, religion, fill in the blank.

The possibility that my family will one day welcome a non-white child into our lives is likely. Because of this, I must concern myself with the well-being, or not, of all communities; red, yellow, black, white.

In the future if my family opens itself up to a young, non-white boy, we will have to discuss how he should behave during a traffic stop. I will have to teach him that because of the racism of some police officers he must make no sudden movements, that he must be sure his identification and papers are in plain view at all times, and that he dare not ever disagree or argue because he could be seen as uncooperative and therefore dangerous. We will need to have this conversation on a regular basis.

I will have to teach him to discern between good guys and bad guys while they're all wearing the same uniforms. I will have to teach him to trust police, but will know deep down, he can't really trust anyone because how can you know who is trustworthy when everyone looks the same?

I will not have to have these conversations with my white children. 

How am I to make sense of that? How are my kids to make sense of that?

The color of our skin does matter. It matters because generations before us made it matter. It matters because the actions of a few with incredible power continue to make it matter.

I cannot stop crying. I cry for the mothers who have lost their children; for the children who have lost their parents. I cry for the child(ren) who might one day join our family who do not look like me or sound like me; whose skin color stands out and labels them dangerous, while mine labels me safe. I cry because the actions of some create a mass fear of all. I cry because it seems to keep getting worse.

We have come so far and still have so. far. to. go.

When will this madness end? When will we learn that violence does. not. win? When will we seek justice for all? When will we value one another, instead of denying each other the reality of our struggles?

When will we stand for love? Peace? Kindness? Equality?

I have no answers. While I try to look to Him who does, it's hard and I think it might always be hard.

The sight is lovely and so are we!

3. Van Rental with Kuya Ritchie

One of the tour guides that I've talked to while planning our Bohol trip is Kuya Ritchie. Although we didn't get his services for the Bohol tour, we hired him for our trip to Danao. He offered the lowest transfer rate from Panglao to Danao and vice versa and his Starex van is relatively new. He delivered us to Danao and Panglao safely and on time, while slowing down once in a while when there's a clear view of Chocolate hills. He also accommodated our changes very professionally and modestly when we decided to go back to Panglao on the same day and earlier than the planned time considering that his schedule was really tight that day because he was booked by another group for their Bohol countryside tour. Two thumbs up for Kuya Ritchie! :D

Contact details:

SMS: 0919-765-4571 / 0923-931-5121

Helpful link: http://www.calvinshub.com/2009/02/bohol-tour-on-a-budget-with-ritchie/

Rate during the time of our visit: Php 2,500.00 per way (Panglao-Danao)

The main man - Kuya Ritchie Vasquez

4. E.A.T Danao

I don't know if I will call this highlight or what because until now I can still feel how my soul was seemingly detached from my body during the plunge! :P But one thing for sure, my Bohol experience wouldn't be complete without the Danao plunge, suislide, rapel and root climb. It was nerve-wrecking, but trying it out wis really worth it. Like what one of their signages read: "You are not only paying for the ride, you are paying for the experience." Indeed, the Danao adventure is a real must-try! My soul dropped and was left in Danao, but I brought back home a really worthwhile experience! ;-)

Contact Details:

Website: www.eatdanao.com

SMS: 0917-302-1700. Contact person: Ms.Weina Sagud

Rate during the time of our visit: Php 1,500.00/pax for a day tour package (add 600.00 to change Wall Climb to plunge)

No matter how distorted I look in this photo, I don't hesitate sharing it because that right there is not an ugly face, that is a BRAVE face! A very brave face! :p

5. Island Tour - Dolphin watching and Snorkelling

Our island tour was also arranged by Tatsky, he contacted the boatman, Kuya Vito, who met us in one of the resorts in Alona Beach. I don't know if it was sheer luck or Kuya Vito's skill that frequently led us to spots where we had a direct view of the dolphins. Our boat was near the dolphin hot spot for more than 70% of all the sightings! That's really awesome considering that there are around 10-15 boats patrolling the area with us in the hopes of seeing the dolphins jump and gasp for air. :D A tip when watching, or should I say, chasing dolphins as discovered by Nikki and Herlin: the dolphins come out every 4 minutes (or a little less than 4 minutes)! :D

After the dolphin watching, we headed to Balicasag Island for the snorkelling activity. BALICASAG REEF IS REALLY A SIGHT TO BEHOLD! I would consider this reef as the best snorkelling sight that I've seen so far (I'm expecting that only reefs in Palawan can top this). I say that it's best because in the five years that our group has been touring around the Philippines, it is only now that I anticipate each dive not only because of the fishes but also because of the "landscape" underneath! Life under Balicasag was really diverse as there were lots of schools of fishes and live corals (I was able to touch one of the corals and Nemo's home! ^_^), but more than the diversity, I was awed with the coral formation and underwater cliff! I don't know how to further describe it, but for me, it was really astounding! So if you can, go snorkel in Balicasag and be awed. :D

Contact Details:

SMS: See Tatsky's contact details

Rate during the time of our visit: Php 1,500.00/boat good for a minimum of 7pax (I'm not sure about the max headcount per boat)

The show-off dolphins! :D

Those are the remarkable experience that we had in Bohol. As for the not so good side, I would say it's the part where we visited Bohol beach club after the Balicasag tour. Don't get me wrong, Bohol beach club's facilities are good, the view is great and the resort is good for family or group with kids, the major downside for us is their food. Their food is costly but bland and the serving is small. So, if you're working on a really tight budget or craving for really delicious food, dining in Bohol beach club may not be a good idea. Crystal also mentioned that their beach is not that good for swimming. Although the water is clear, the sea floor is quite rough and there were jelly fishes around.

Bohol Beach Club - where food is tasteless but the sight is picturesque! :)

There. I really hope that this will be helpful. :) Feel free to leave a comment for additional questions or more details. Happy planning! :)

Credits: All photos above courtesy of Ronald Calulo and Crystal Gonzalez. :) Friends, I really love our pics, nakaka-inspire i-blog. :) Looking forward to seeing more wonderful photos in our future trips! ^_^

More pics in my Picasa account: 

Bohol Getaway - Day 1: Hello Tagbilaran!

Bohol Getaway - Day 2: Countryside Tour

Bohol Getaway - Day 3: Island & Sea tour

Bohol Getaway - Day 4: Danao Adventure

Bohol Getaway - Day 5: Huling Hirit sa Bohol

2. Countryside tour with Tatsky

The facade of Grand Luis Lodge

2. Countryside tour with Tatsky

While drafting our group's itinerary, I came across a number of sites and forums recommending the service of Tatsky for our Bohol tours so I immediately contacted him and inquired about his rates. Of all the tourist guides that I've contacted (I've probably communicated with more than 5 guides!), Tatsky offers the lowest rate with most number of tourist attractions covered. Upon arriving in Bohol, we encountered some glitches (PAL left Crystal's luggage in Manila!) so I informed Tatsky that there will be changes in our itinerary, he was flexible enough to accommodate the changes in our plan and assigned a different driver/tour guide for us. As it turns out, he owns several vehicles and employs several drivers so he can cater to different groups. The driver assigned to us was Kuya Dennis, he seems to be as equally kind and knowledgeable as Tatsky. Although we were not able to personally meet Tatsky, I can highly recommend him for your Bohol tour needs.

Contact Details:

SMS: 0915-794-5556 / 0912-747-2737 / 0922-367-1051

Rate during the time of our visit: Php 2,500.00 for a tour with 5-12 pax

The sight is lovely and so are we!

3. Van Rental with Kuya Ritchie

One of the tour guides that I've talked to while planning our Bohol trip is Kuya Ritchie. Although we didn't get his services for the Bohol tour, we hired him for our trip to Danao. He offered the lowest transfer rate from Panglao to Danao and vice versa and his Starex van is relatively new. He delivered us to Danao and Panglao safely and on time, while slowing down once in a while when there's a clear view of Chocolate hills. He also accommodated our changes very professionally and modestly when we decided to go back to Panglao on the same day and earlier than the planned time considering that his schedule was really tight that day because he was booked by another group for their Bohol countryside tour. Two thumbs up for Kuya Ritchie! :D

Contact details:

SMS: 0919-765-4571 / 0923-931-5121

Helpful link: http://www.calvinshub.com/2009/02/bohol-tour-on-a-budget-with-ritchie/

Rate during the time of our visit: Php 2,500.00 per way (Panglao-Danao)