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| quiet time by the creak |
Thank you so much for your prayers. God has been at work in my heart. Here's a bit of what he's been teaching me.
For the last several months, even before the official beginning of this sabbatical season, God has been emphasizing to me the importance of being still. Psalm 46:10 has been the constant refrain:
"Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in the earth."
The frequency with which the Lord impressed this on me caused me to wonder if I was missing something. I had already cut many things out of my schedule and lifestyle - fewer work days, less ministry, careful sleep habits... Why do you keep telling to be still, God? How still do you want me to be?? During one quiet time I finally looked up the Hebrew text of this verse. Sure enough, there's a deeper meaning. The Hebrew command, "be still" could also be translated, "let yourself be weak" or "cause yourself to let go." This is one of my deepest struggles.
I am a recovering Pharisee. I have standards for myself, and imagine that God does too: be strong, do what's right, live a sacrificial life for the sake of Christ. These are not bad things, except that I most often seek to do them by myself, not by the power of Christ. The result is that I spend much of my time and energy struggling to maintain and support "my ministry" and "my life" in Christ, which I cannot do. I am too weak. I need to let go. God is God. He will be exalted regardless. In fact, it's only when I admit that I'm week and look to him be God over me, that I'm free to follow his lead.
I probably could have preached this to you before, but it's taken several months of coming to the end of myself and finding Christ there, to help me really get it. I don't have to be perfect. I don't need to know all the answers. I don't need the perfect strategic plan. I don't need to have hours of quiet time every day. I don't have to feel strong to step out in faith, to be available for God to use me. It's ok to struggle. That's how God refines us. That's when we get to know him for who is, when he can be exalted in our lives. It's grace. He is God.
For the last several months, even before the official beginning of this sabbatical season, God has been emphasizing to me the importance of being still. Psalm 46:10 has been the constant refrain:
"Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in the earth."
The frequency with which the Lord impressed this on me caused me to wonder if I was missing something. I had already cut many things out of my schedule and lifestyle - fewer work days, less ministry, careful sleep habits... Why do you keep telling to be still, God? How still do you want me to be?? During one quiet time I finally looked up the Hebrew text of this verse. Sure enough, there's a deeper meaning. The Hebrew command, "be still" could also be translated, "let yourself be weak" or "cause yourself to let go." This is one of my deepest struggles.
I am a recovering Pharisee. I have standards for myself, and imagine that God does too: be strong, do what's right, live a sacrificial life for the sake of Christ. These are not bad things, except that I most often seek to do them by myself, not by the power of Christ. The result is that I spend much of my time and energy struggling to maintain and support "my ministry" and "my life" in Christ, which I cannot do. I am too weak. I need to let go. God is God. He will be exalted regardless. In fact, it's only when I admit that I'm week and look to him be God over me, that I'm free to follow his lead.
I probably could have preached this to you before, but it's taken several months of coming to the end of myself and finding Christ there, to help me really get it. I don't have to be perfect. I don't need to know all the answers. I don't need the perfect strategic plan. I don't need to have hours of quiet time every day. I don't have to feel strong to step out in faith, to be available for God to use me. It's ok to struggle. That's how God refines us. That's when we get to know him for who is, when he can be exalted in our lives. It's grace. He is God.
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