Family Day was a lot of fun this weekend for my family! We went to church with grandma and grandpa and our cousins, we have dinner with my sister's family and my dad's family. We went for a swim, a birthday party, watch a movie and even had time for household tasks. It was a whirlwind. A one point our oldest was pretty unhappy to leave the house because she just wanted to stay home and play! Having an extra day this Family Day long weekend has allowed the parents of our house the chance to catch up a little bit too. Both my wife and I had school work to finish and a few things to do in the house, so the extra day was great. But after experiencing a very busy pool at Millenium Place (they do a great job there) and thinking a little more about what Family Day supposed to be I have a few thoughts I'd like to share.
Family Day in Alberta is intended to celebrate families. It's intended to give us a day to spend time together and allows our communities to host a number of events to celebrate families. The problem is that helping families be successful is one of the biggest priorities any government, anywhere should have. Of course there's other issues like the economy and jobs, and environmental regulations and all those other things but it really all come down to supporting people, and our families. As a society it is important for us to work together to support children and we do this through schools, hospitals, community, and recreation facilities, but sometimes I think our society could do more.
It feels like a lifetime ago that I was a junior high school counsellor. At the time I was in my late 20s. I wasn't married, I didn't have kids but I can recall thinking while working with students whose parents are divorced, how difficult it must be to raise children on your own. At the time I was thinking a lot about the emotional aspects of single parenting. I was trying to wrap my head around the challenge of maintaining a balance between supporting your kids and still being the main disciplinarian. It was evident to me at that age as a counsellor that single parenting could be very difficult because the lack of support to accomplish a very daulting responsibility. Now as a parent with two daughters, ages six and four, I have a very difficult time grasping what it would be like being a parent on my own from of strictly practical perspective. How would I get them to school how would I get them picked up, how would I get them organized, how exhausting day in and day out things would be? Of course, not to mention how expensive everything is. I wonder how families with one or two parents can make it day to day with their children if they have employment challenges. The challenges to raising children ranges from emotional, financial, physical (lack of sleep anyone?), and social.
I am very blessed. My wife and I make a good team; we both work full-time and we do our best to try to make ends meet and offer a number of experiences for a kids, as do many families in Alberta. I think about those who are two parents but with one stay at home parent. It's so rare nowadays to see a parent who choose to stay home simply because it is so expensive to raise kids. In addition a lot of adults want to continue their career and may feel they may be at risk of jeopardizing their careers to take time away for their families. Its hard to have a healthy family when we are all so busy.
We live in a society where saying you're busy, saying you're overwhelmed is almost expected or a badge of honor. We all work so hard and I remember reading recently that Albertasn put in the most hours of work a week. I certainly know teachers work very hard. I know how hard I work and I know all my teachers work harder than I do - at my current school and at my last school. So if everybody's working really hard to make ends meet, pay their bills, and are putting in extra hours to keep their career going strong, who is taking care of the families?
I think as a society we can do better to support kids and support families. Maybe there are strategies from other countries we could research and adopt, to create a variety of ways to help support the most basic unit of any society. I read recently in Iceland that they adopted policies to support youth and reduce the rates of high-risk behaviours. They did it by creating as many extracurricular activities for kids as possible. Every facility that offers sports, recreation, music lessons, art classes, drama lessons are open after school until 7 or 8 o'clock. They offer parenting courses and a variety of supports for families, especially during the adolescents and teenage years. The results of been staggeringly positive and a number of jurisdictions are looking to copy what Iceland has done.
I guess the question I am asking is are we doing enough to support families? If we all recognize some very difficult challenges for parents to be successful in raising their children, why are we not demanding more support, or different supports. I am not advocating to just spend money, maybe we can spend money differently? Families are key to a healthy society because the parents are the primary educator of every child. How can we help parents do their best in raising their kids? Maybe we could look at the best ways we could support parents and children. I may be biased but I know that children go to school, so that is a great place to start. Can schools be supported to do the work of supporting families with additional staff and supports who are trained in certain areas? What are your ideas or thoughts?
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