Hello again, VR. Vance here with the promised Vance's Big Review of Cuba by Vance*.
Where we left off:
I was showing you two diffrent kina eye candy found in Havana. Two of the photos were of the classic and antique cars still chugging and farting their way about the place. The third was a nekkid girl regaled in skimpy but gigante butterfly... well... regalia.
As you might be able to discern, the guy looking all googly-eyed at her was smitten. I suspect this was so, merely because she was nekkid under her costume, which is kina stupid if you think about it.
Duh! She'd also be nekkid under her clothes when she's all bundled up. Bundling up happens rarely in hot, humid Havana, but you get my drift.
This picture was taken inside the most happening night spot in all of Cuba. You'd think, having never experienced it, that the Buena Vista Social Club is the MHSinC, but you guessed it! You'd be wrong. By a long kilometer (remember how that's pronounced: kilo-meter). The BVSC is a tourist trap with washed up old guys performing who get tired really fast.
This place is a new phenom in Havana. It's got Art with a vengeance. It is an old vegetable oil refinery building with a gazillion shipping containers arranged in a maze with multiple levels and 5 different bars serving Mojitos. Each room is a different "happening" with video, paintings, drawings, photography, interpretive dance, tableaux with live models, music, performance art, and all kina other artsy stuff I can't remember.
Here's a pic outside the place. You observant ones might just grok a '49 Plym going by, a 51 Chevy D, and a Lada in the foreground. That line goes around the block!
The only art not in evidence was mixology. As a matter of fact (granted, already descried), s-o-r-e-l-y l-a-c-k-i-n-g. You ask for a martini, and alls you'll get is a slack look, and a Mojito shoved at you. I had to teach a couple barkeeps what was what, and let me tell you. Believe me, it cost. Good thing alls I want in my martini is ice-cold gin and an olive. Vermouth may not even exist in Cuba, but for a fact, it's scarce.
This might be a good thing, because in the hands of the inexperienced or misguided, vermouth can be a Bad Thing.
Here's how you make the perfect martini: Put your good gin in the freezer. Beefeater, Tanqueray, Hendricks, etc. Leave it there. 'Till it's gone. Once it's gelid with frozenness, pour some into a chilled glass. When I make my own at home, it's a two ouncer. Drop in a couple small spanish olives with the taillights (drain off the juice) and Bob's your Uncle!
I hesitate to even say this, but sometimes, in the hands of a Master, a couple drops of dry vermouth can be added to some benefit to the cocktail. However, if you are out to dinner, at a bar, or someplace you don't know the barkeep's level of expertise, just say "No" to the vermouth. And tell 'em stirred, not shaken.
The young people of Havana are jazzed to the gills to be able to go to this place. It is a wonderful sight to see. They appreciate the fuck out of just being able to go there, and you can tell that the artists are being let loose for the first time. It's all very undergrad art school, and if it were someplace else, like Omaha, people would be laughing their asses off at the naivete. I would too, being the insensitive schmuck I am. But, not even an insensitive schmuck could do that to this new scene. It's vibrant, and fun, and exciting to the kids of Havana.
Here's a pic of Canadians posing with a ?
Then, when Vance grew tired of the social scene and went outside to check the action, he captured this:
And here's ashot of the smokestack of the refinery:
Next, I'll tell you all about the experience of being in a place with nobody left, in Part 2 of Vance's Big Review of Cuba by Vance*.
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